How Proximity Builds an Executive Assistant’s Influence

The Proximity Principle says that influence comes from position, not luck. It means getting close enough to the right rooms, conversations, and decisions to learn, be seen, and eventually earn more trust. For executive assistants, this explains why a single seat at the table can shape a career more than any resume line.

What Is the Proximity Principle?

The Proximity Principle, a concept popularized by career expert Ken Coleman, says that influence is not about luck. It is about positioning yourself close enough to the right rooms, conversations, and decisions. That closeness lets you learn, observe, and eventually earn more trust. For executive assistants, this idea explains something many feel but rarely name. Their seat at the table, literally and figuratively, shapes their career far more than any single skill they bring to the job.

Why Does Proximity Matter More Than Talent Early in a Career?

Most people spend years building skills before they earn access to leadership rooms. Executive assistants often get that access on day one. It is not because they are further along in their careers. It is because their role places them there. Early in my career, I was just over a year out of college, working as an assistant at a large firm. Most people my age were associates, talented and ambitious, but still years away from sitting in on leadership meetings. I was already in the room, not because I had earned it through tenure, but because my role put me there.

At first, I did not say much. I was there to take notes. I listened more than I spoke. But I watched everything: how leaders challenged each other respectfully, how decisions were debated and sometimes reversed, how priorities shifted in real time. Without realizing it, I was getting an education most people do not receive until much later in their careers.

What Does the Proximity Principle Look Like in Practice for an Executive Assistant?

For a long time, proximity looked like quiet observation for me. Later, it looked like intention. I stopped showing up to leadership meetings as someone simply supporting the room. Instead, I started showing up as someone who belonged in it. I shared perspectives and asked questions. I chose a desk near my executive’s leadership team, not just near my executive. Whenever I could add value or learn something meaningful, I attended offsites, dinners, and leadership activities. That proximity did not just increase visibility. It changed how I thought, how I showed up, and how effective I became in my role.

This is not just a personal observation. Research from Harvard Business Review consistently shows that leadership development happens largely through informal learning. That means observing how leaders think, decide, and interact in real situations. These lessons cannot be fully replicated in a training program or captured in documentation. They are learned through exposure.

Does Proximity Still Work in a Hybrid or Remote Role?

Yes, though it requires more intention. In today’s hybrid and sometimes fully remote world, proximity does not disappear. Being close enough to learn may look different now:

• Joining calls a few minutes early
• Asking to sit in on a planning session
• Following up after a meeting to understand the reasoning behind a decision

The principle still holds. Influence in the executive assistant role has always been tied to presence, whether that presence is physical or thoughtfully created in virtual spaces.

How Do You Build Proximity When You Are Remote?

Look for small, low-stakes ways to stay close to decisions even without a shared office:

• Ask your executive if you can join five extra minutes of a leadership call to observe
• Request context on decisions after the fact instead of waiting to be told
• Volunteer for the planning conversations that happen before an initiative becomes official

None of these require a title change. They only require asking.

How Can You Position Yourself Strategically This Year?

The moments that shift a career rarely announce themselves as important while they are happening. A seat in a meeting becomes a pattern of presence. Observation turns into understanding. Understanding grows into confidence. And eventually, influence follows. Whether your role is in person, hybrid, or remote, one question is worth asking. Where can you position yourself this year to learn, observe, and be trusted with more?

This is the kind of thinking behind the Proximity Principle. We build on it inside my program Operate. There, assistants learn to operate with the clarity and confidence that comes from understanding exactly where their value lives.